I often wonder what my Dad thought of me.
When I look at my own grown children I know in my heart they will always be “my children” that I will love, worry and care about in every way no matter how old they are.
Today, being Father’s Day I am thinking about my memories with my Dad.
No matter how much I loved him; I never felt that he loved me or was proud of me. One year before his death, I traveled to see him to ask him just that very question. I realized that we had limited time together on this earth left; and wanted him to know just how much I loved him and looked up to him. I also knew in my heart that I had spent my whole life trying to “measure up” in his eyes. I wanted to hear it just once….
With tears running down my cheeks I asked him to sit down and talk to me a few minutes. I told him how much I loved him and needed to hear him say the words that he loved me and was proud of me. As soon as I did, he got up and walked out of the room yelling behind him that I must be mentally ill to ask him to say that.
Broken hearted I prayed that I would not feel the pain and hurt from his rejection. It took my heavenly Father to comfort me. He sacrificed His only son because He loves me so much. What more could I need or ask for. He has been the one beside me each day letting me know how proud He was of me for following Him.
So, on this day I want to express how much I loved my earthly father and always will. But I want to honor my heavenly Father for being a Dad to me each and every day.
So if any fathers read this blog; take time each day to tell you children that you love them and are proud of them.
3 comments:
Lynn...I am so sorry that you have had to experience this, as the only daughter in a family of 3 sons...I know the whole Daddy's little girl thing. But there came a time in my life that my relationship with my father was strained.. I think we as little girls put our fathers up on a pedestal that they are not prepared to be on top of. Then when adversity comes, and it will, there is nowhere for them to go but down. I am happy that you have found comfort in the one Father that will never forsake you. It is through His love that you have been able to accept your father for all that he was & forgive him.
Sending you a hug today!
xo
Dear Dear Lynn, I can only echo Tammy's sentiments...And I just want to reach out and hug you!
I am sorry this a memory. But so glad in my heart that you can be free of such a moment!
Praise Him! :) Praise Him :)
I'm a little late in responding, just catching up on the blogs.
I'm so lucky I get to give you a hug in person!!!!
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